That's what she said in the elevator

I swear, maybe it's because it's my go-to humor injection to unfunny conversation, but I keep finding myself in the ultimate TWSS situations. See my post about voting last week.

I'm in the elevator this morning, and a co-worker and I are discussing our divergent breakfast habits. See, I prefer McDonald's most mornings, and she was carrying a McDonald's bag, so it was a natural conversation starter. Basically, she only gets McDonald's for one of two reasons: a) she's running late or b) she's out of milk at the office. She usually eats Crispix for breakfast, but she remembered that she was out of milk, hence the visit to Mickey D's for the sausage and egg bagel. She's a funny, loud redhead, known best for her laugh and running the annual March Madness pool at the office. So, whether she meant to say this or not, and I assume not, it will go down as one of the dirtier and most uncomfortable TWSS moments in my history of using the term. But it didn't stop me. Maybe it should have.

She was giving me her reasons for not wanting to eat cereal this morning, the last of which was "It's just not as good when it's dry."

Yep, that's what she said.

Sports Bras in Office Buildings

Not a likely combination is it? Well, the phenomenon that is a sports bra combined with the lobby of an office building, was witnessed today by yours truly. I was sitting outside, nibbling on some lunch, when out of nowhere, this brazen amazon came striding into my periphery. With radar attuned for circumstances such as this, I immediately set my plan for attack. I would slink down below the wire mesh picnic table, crabwalk across the sidewalk, and courteously interrupt this specimen to save her from becoming a spectacle inside the lobby of my building.

Well, I had a plan. Unfortunately, before I could remember how to crabwalk correctly, she was out of sight. I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or why she was running.

All I know is, next time I'll do my duty for the man race. I'll save her from embarrassment and mockery and drown her in chivalry and...and...well, you get the point. I'll sit her down and have a nice chat. Become good friends. Help her adjust to living life as a crazy, sports-bra-wearing office-working professional. Just have to get this damn crabwalk cramp out of my calf...