Oh PowerBar, why can I not eat you?

You stare at me every morning from your dark home in my second desk drawer. Longing for me to choose you over the enemy, the almighty McMuffin. You tempt me with your shiny wrapper, your incredible self-portraits and your claims of physical prowess and well-being you might bring should I choose you over the warmer, more obvious breakfast option. Alas, I find myself hopelessly unable to test the waters with you. You are just beyond my taste bud spectrum I fear. In other words, it's not you, it's me. I'm afraid you might exceed your "Best if consumed by" date - or whatever you call it - and maybe I'm secretly looking forward to that day. You're reliable because you're always an option but you're probably too good to be true. You're just a temptress. Outer shell of chocolate, inner ingredients of fake nougat, coconut and some nuts I've never seen before. [insert TWSS here]. Taste of cardboard, old sawdust and the color brown. You do have one glimmer of hope. Maybe some day when a combination of variables come together, we will meet. Your perfect storm would include me running late for work, slightly hungover, no money, and a growling appetite. Then, you might meet your fate. Until then, keep praying that you can alter your Best if date, cuz I don't see it happening anytime soon.

That's what she said in the elevator

I swear, maybe it's because it's my go-to humor injection to unfunny conversation, but I keep finding myself in the ultimate TWSS situations. See my post about voting last week.

I'm in the elevator this morning, and a co-worker and I are discussing our divergent breakfast habits. See, I prefer McDonald's most mornings, and she was carrying a McDonald's bag, so it was a natural conversation starter. Basically, she only gets McDonald's for one of two reasons: a) she's running late or b) she's out of milk at the office. She usually eats Crispix for breakfast, but she remembered that she was out of milk, hence the visit to Mickey D's for the sausage and egg bagel. She's a funny, loud redhead, known best for her laugh and running the annual March Madness pool at the office. So, whether she meant to say this or not, and I assume not, it will go down as one of the dirtier and most uncomfortable TWSS moments in my history of using the term. But it didn't stop me. Maybe it should have.

She was giving me her reasons for not wanting to eat cereal this morning, the last of which was "It's just not as good when it's dry."

Yep, that's what she said.