Woodie, Woodster, Woodrow

So there's this guy I know. We'll call him Wood. He's a good 'ole southerner with a penchant for mayo and bacon sandwiches, typically grilled to perfection on a George Foreman. He's in my fantasy football league, and due to some luck, some injuries, and the inability of the NFL to recognize that the 17th week of the season gets fantasy teams into the playoffs (thanks Tony Dungy for playing Jim Sorgi for 3 entire quarters), he was able to squeak out a league championship a couple years ago.
Now most of the guys in our league are not what you call "humble," but that said, most of them joke and can be joked with. Wood, on the other hand, can dish it out with the best of them (he's right up there with D. Trump talking about Rosie's fat ass), but when his character is defamed (is that a word?), he gets righteous. Pure and simple. The kid is wacky. Has been since I've know him. Fun to be around, impossible to argue with. You will never win. He will stoop to any level, particularly levels that involve mothers, sisters, weight (he has recently abandoned his mayo/bacon diet and slimmed down), music, athleticism (funny, considering his severe lack of athletic ability due to "ACL surgery" and evident from one view of his awful golf swing) and just about anything else.
Anyway, not trying to slam the kid, just had to write something to get the comments rolling in. Meanwhile, check out the picture (he's the doof in the blue shirt).