Thursday, September 4, 2008

Remembering Ray LaFontaine


Slow day at work...

I know I'm a day or so late on this...but who cares. I'm not google or cnn. Get your breaking news elsewhere. I just wanted to celebrate the life and accomplishments of the man with the golden [movie trailer] voice.

Just think of how many trailers he must have done...and how some of the scripts must have been so awful, he could barely get through them. For example, "The Day After Tomorrow" is my favorite trailer of all time...it's probably the worst name for a movie ever.

"Just when you think you're safe, the most horrific winter storm of all time attacks...its... 'the day after tomorrow'. But if it doesn't hit until tomorrow, it'll be "today". And if it doesn't come until Saturday, it'll be "two days from now"... but i digress. Ray could make anything sound unbelievable. I paid my 7.50 to see The Day After Tomorrow, and I have to admit, the trailer was better than the movie.


He will always be remembered and admired for having a talent no one else can put on their resume. Good luck to anyone trying to follow in his golden footsteps.

The haiglebomb...my latest creation

Who likes jagerbombs? If you're not raising your hand, please discontinue reading. Talk to you later.

For those still with me, I think I've created a new twist on the old reliable jagerbomb shot. It takes a bit of the edge off the typical jagerbomb (which should help you convince the more proper ladies they can handle it) and won't cost any more!

You ready?
Here are the ingredients of the "haiglebomb":
1.5 oz Jagermeister
1.5 oz Red Bull
1 large orange slice (not the drink, the fruit)

Directions for use: Pour jager in first, follow it with Red Bull, then take the orange slice and squeeze the juice into the mix. Try to avoid slices with seeds.

I wouldn't recommend trying too many of these in one night, but trust me, it's a new fad that's sweeping the nation. Give it a try this weekend and let me know what you think.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Navigating the current channels of communication protocols

The most incredible headline I've ever written. All the way back to my high school newspaper column days. I was "Study Hall Guy" for all those inquiring minds...

I have a question for all you gen Xers, millenials and general communication gurus. How exactly are we supposed to communicate with each other these days? Let me list all the methods by which I can be contacted, and you'll have a better idea of what I'm talking about:
Cell phone
Text message
Work phone
Work e-mail
Work fax
Personal e-mail 1
Personal e-mail 2
Personal e-mail 3
AIM
G-chat
Skype
Facebook
Myspace
Linkedin
Flickr
Youtube
Snail mail

I guess my question is, why did we make communicating so difficult on ourselves? I mean, I like the speed of the web-related communication outlets, but greatly prefer the personal touch of phone calls, snail mail, and gasp, personal interaction. And following that logic, does it make phone numbers and home addresses that much more personal, and therefore, guarded? E-mail addresses, Facebook, Myspace, and AIM are all free, so if you want to change any of those, you can at any time with relatively little hassle. But if I'm trying to keep in touch with a greater number of people than I have in the past, what is the most efficient means of doing so? My instinct says Facebook or Myspace, but I wonder if everyone else sees it that way. There have to be the old school communicators amongst us that haven't yet adopted text messaging as an acceptable form of communication, and that's their prerogative. But seeing the dramatic increase in membership on the social networking sites over the last two years leads me to believe the communication paradigm is shifting completely.

I just want to know if Facebook is really going to be the way I keep in touch with my "network" for the next 10 years or so. If it's not, what else out there is better? How could I combine all the ways I can communicate into one, effective channel? Would I even want to do that?

Anyway, an aimless rant, just some thoughts that might stir the pot of communicators out there. Holler back. However you may choose...

Monday, August 25, 2008

Haiglebomb's high school reunion


If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, reunions are dumb. However, even given my firm stance on the subject, I was able to have a great time at my 10 year high school reunion this weekend. It's not a family reunion, where you have to pretend to like everyone. It's high school, so there are still cliques and outcasts, but now everyone's a few years older, slightly heavier, and relatively the same as they were way back when. There were no scuffles in the parking lot or smoking in the bathrooms, which was a bit of a surprise given the number of those that went on 10-14 years ago.

I think everyone I talked to genuinely had a good time. And I have to say, the single most common topic of conversation was...not kids (although that was pretty common as well), not work, not marriage...it was facebook. Really. Some are new to it, so catching up has been a bit difficult. But everyone sees the benefit of being on the fb train, as it helped us all catch up more quickly than we would have been able to without it. So there's that.

A few of the crucial peeps I wanted to see didn't show, but I was also pleasantly surprised by seeing a few others I had lost touch with. Most notable absent were: Bradford (lazy), Celestino (in hiding), Bowling (at the Bristol race), Debbie T (no idea), Lisa B (no idea), Amee B (studying), BJ Smith (no idea), and Jaleema (no idea).

I enjoyed catching up with everyone and look forward to the next one. Although in the meantime, let's try to keep in touch!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Sports Bras in Office Buildings

Not a likely combination is it? Well, the phenomenon that is a sports bra combined with the lobby of an office building, was witnessed today by yours truly. I was sitting outside, nibbling on some lunch, when out of nowhere, this brazen amazon came striding into my periphery. With radar attuned for circumstances such as this, I immediately set my plan for attack. I would slink down below the wire mesh picnic table, crabwalk across the sidewalk, and courteously interrupt this specimen to save her from becoming a spectacle inside the lobby of my building.

Well, I had a plan. Unfortunately, before I could remember how to crabwalk correctly, she was out of sight. I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or why she was running.

All I know is, next time I'll do my duty for the man race. I'll save her from embarrassment and mockery and drown her in chivalry and...and...well, you get the point. I'll sit her down and have a nice chat. Become good friends. Help her adjust to living life as a crazy, sports-bra-wearing office-working professional. Just have to get this damn crabwalk cramp out of my calf...

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

So much drama in the SLC...UPDATE!

Is Salt Lake City a cool place to go? I mean, it can't be right? I guess it suffers from stereotypes just like the South, so we'll just have to see if it lives up to its reputation. I've been through the SLC airport once or twice, and the only thing I recall was the complete lack of ethnic balance. Lots of blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skinned folks. Not much color there. It was a bit eerie actually. Like I was in a horror movie, and everybody knew it except me. I hope this next trip is different. Full report to come on Monday. Until then, miss me.

UPDATE...
Turns out Salt Lake City is pretty fun. Some nice restaurants, nice people, and awesome weather.
However, I noticed some significant areas of concern that inquiring minds should be aware of:
  1. Liquor drinks require the addition of "sidecars" - I had no idea that such a thing existed. I'm used to bartenders wanting to get you tanked so you either forget your card or give them a monstrous tip. These folks pour shots in thimbles and then dump them into mammoth high ball glasses. You are forced to order and additional shot (aka "sidecar") to bump up the alcoholic content to a satisfactory level.
  2. The streets of downtown City del Salt Lake are so wide that when the white walking man stops chirping and the red hand starts counting down from 20, you better already be halfway, or else you're going to get run the eff over. Saw it happen. To a bum. It was just a nudge, but one the poor hobo will remember it for quite some time.
  3. There is a dramatic difference between the two main hotels: The Little America and The Grand America. I mean, I should have guessed from the name, but Little America left a lot to be desired. I mean, it was cool that there was a phone next to the shitter. And that they actually give you keys to your room instead of those convenient credit card-looking keys like every other hotel I've been to in the last 15 years. And that the whole place smells like rotting fish. Or a burning laundromat. Depended on the time of day. Now the Grand America was top notch. And within spitting distance of Little. Which made it suck. Why put two similarly named, affiliated hotels right next to each other if there is such a wide discrepancy between the two? Am I wrong here? I just don't understand the logic that the Americas had when they built the Grand. Why put it right next to the Little? And was it even called Little before Grand came along? Or was it just America? Kind of makes you think...maybe they'll build a third and call it The Biggest America. But then they couldn't open a fourth one without changing the naming scheme to something more appropriate. Something like: Shitty One, Much Better than Shitty One, Just Slightly Better than Much Better than Shitty One, and Only Slightly Better than Slightly Better than Much Better than Shitty One. Yeah, that would make a lot more sense.

Monday, August 4, 2008

To Camaro, or not to Camaro?

So I'm thinking about pulling the trigger on one of my all-time favorite things in the world. I'm considering the purchase of a first generation Camaro, similar to the beauty above.
But as a conscientious dude in marketing of all things, I'm also trying to think about the consequences of owning a car like this. I mean, when I see dudes driving classic muscle cars like this, I'm honestly envious. But I have a feeling that when other people see dudes driving souped up, loud, tire-squealing hot rods, some of them think: "That guy's making up for something - down there..."
I'd like some opinions from my devout readers. Let me know what you think. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being "Do what you want, it's a badass ride!" and 10 being "Dude, seriously?"