Monday is only one day

Unfortunately. And I've never said that before. But today is different. I had a restful Sunday, got some decent sleep, and just have an overwhelming sense of positive energy this morning. So now the trick is to parlay this on to the rest of the week. And then further. I'm going to try something today. Since I know several things that can alter my mood (positively and negatively), I'm going to avoid those today. I will stay away from the book of faces, I'm going to stay off gchat, and I'm going to focus on getting a head start on work for the week. Music, work, a good lunch, and an evening of tv (Chuck, Heroes, then some MNF). That should ensure Monday stays cool. One [good] day at a time.

An open letter to bartenders

I have a drinking problem. Surprisingly, I don't think the problem is that I drink too much. It's the consequences of my drinking actions that have me concerned. While I enjoy the process, the results are definitely not always equally enjoyable.

Which leads me to my main point. I cannot go at this alone. I need a sponsor, an ally in this war, someone to keep me accountable. I don't see anyone more fitting for this role than you Mr./Ms. Bartender. You can be my piano man right? No pressure. All you have to do is keep me focused. I don't need medication, just your dedication. If you could, keep me from staying until you turn the lights on. Don't let me help you stack the barstools. Don't let me have a to go cup. Don't let me tell the cab driver to take me to freedom. Or to his leader. Don't let me hide in the bathroom stall, hoping you'll leave soon and I can have the rest of the keg to myself. Don't allow me to continue spending money like I have it. I'll tip you better if you help me understand why I've ordered a round of shots for 14 people I don't know. Don't laugh at my jokes. Don't light my cigarettes (I'm still quitting). Don't allow me to declare "Late Night!" at any point. Don't let me use my weapon (phone or any other) after my fourth drink. Don't let me borrow yours because that would make our arrangement slightly uncomfortable. Don't refuse to tell me the woman I'm sitting next to is a trainwreck. In other words, don't rest on your laurels. Be proactive.

You see, we need each other. So let's start acting like the pals we've always been. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Come on buddy, follow these helpful suggestions and you and me can lick this problem once and for all.

Caption Contest

So this is a picture of a friend of mine who recently took up climbing. Couldn't help but notice some of the unique holds on this particular wall.

Let the caption contest begin!

Entry #1: That nude male statue cannot be to scale...

Voting can be fun

Let me preface this little nugget with one thought: What you are about to read is absolutely 100% true.

So I went to cast my vote for the next President, Vice President, Governor, Head of the Department of Labor (Go Cherie Berry-love your name!), and every other political office on my bubble sheet. I was dreading the waiting in line, which is the main reason I had put it off as long as I had. But I was pleasantly surprised when a nice man hollered at me for being in the wrong line. Funny, I didn't know there were two lines because one was outside, and one was all the way inside. I was supposed to be in the invisible line. Obviously.

The second line was much shorter. It was for us lazy citizens who needed to register in our current county of residence. I was fine with that. There were chairs, and wonderfully pleasant volunteers to chat with. When it came my turn to re-register, a nice older lady was assigned to help. Her name was Jo. She was probably pretty attractive 40 years ago, and if the timing had been a little different, something tells me we could have had a real shot at love. At least given it a go...tangent. Sorry. So as I'm sitting there making small talk with Jo, another volunteer settles in at her post to begin registering other lazy miscreants. The next dude in line saddles up across from the new lady, and begins making small talk. She appears confused, full of McDonald's and generally uncomfortable. Just as Jo is about to lend a hand, the new girl says to dude "Now, you'll have to be patient with me. This is the first time I've done this in a really long time. I'm a little rusty."

Now, I am sitting next to dude, and I just can't not do it. I held it in for as long as I could, but it was no use. I blurted "That's what she said..."

The entire second line heard it, and everyone started giggling. Then laughing. Then knee-slapping and high-fiving. Regardless of party affiliation, color, creed, age. It was an uproar. A good 3 minutes of solid entertainment. I loved it. I felt like I made a positive contribution to every second-line member's Saturday. [Pat on the back]

If you don't believe me, ask Erin Phillips. We went to elementary school together. Dude was her boyfriend. Hadn't seen her in 20 years. She enjoyed the moment as well. Thank you Steve Carell for making "That's what she said" aka TWSS aka TWSS HHHHHHH funny again.

Thoughts on October

It's over. My birth month. It's been a good month. Lots of things to celebrate. The overwhelming success of my fantasy football team (6-2; 2nd out of 16 teams), the football games (tailgates were more fun), the big birthday party, and the deepening of friendships that matter. Since my post about removing myself from the fast-paced social scene, I've noticed this change in my approach to life has really taken hold. I'm calmer, more content, and generally more fun to be around. I've realized I can't control what people think or have to say about me. I've recognized that the true friendships and family relationships I have are more important than anything else in the world. I've talked to my mom, dad, sister and brother more this month than any other month I can remember. Which is nice.

I'm now thinking about things on a whole new level. New ways to express myself, new ideas to think about, better ways of doing things. I want to continue to learn from the past and improve myself from those lessons. I'm taking back control of my life, and it feels gooooooood. Sorry for the introspection, just felt it...

Last Sunday morning was forgettable

woke up sunday morning.
remembered i left my car at the bar
so i decided to take the mongoose
[its a 10 year old bmx bike living in the garage]
the bar was 3-4 miles away
i stretched a little, brushed my teeth, and headed out
the front tire blew on the first downhill
so in my mind, i decided to run.
body didn't get the memo
had no breakfast, still a bit drunk
it was just cold enough to burn your ears
and i couldn't breath
with an e
about a mile in, i took a break.
vomit ensued. laced with toothpaste, tasting of haiglebombs and hell's bells brew
but i wasnt turning around
i was running down wade avenue with the taste of vomit fresh on my lips
saw at least 5 people i knew drive by
but pretended i was running for exercise so they wouldn't stop
just waved them on by. they knew what was happening, i could tell in their eyes
it took me 45 minutes to ride/walk 3.5 miles
that's not a good pace. lance would not approve
i was a bit worn out to say the least
oh the bike
had to pick it back up on the way from the bushes i stashed it in
barely fit in my backseat
the end

October is a big month

Sheesh. October is full already. Too many things to do, too little time. Work is picking up (yet I still find time to blog...priorities right?), the social calendar is busting at the seams, and I can't remember half the extra-curricular sports I've signed up for.

My birthday is Friday the 24th, and its going to be nuts. Big party at the house, tons of people, booze, band, etc. Be there or be square.

The weekend prior, I'll be traveling to Columbia, SC and Charlotte, NC for two football games (USC/LSU and Panthers/Saints). Pretty excited about that. So excited that I'm calling in drunk on Monday the 20th. [sorry boss if you're reading]...And this coming weekend, I'm heading to Charlotte for the Bank of America 500, the 5th race of the Chase. It was a blast last year, from what I remember anyway, and this year promises to be even better. At least I've got my scanner working again. That shit broke pre-race last year, leaving me no alternative but to drink my face off during the race.

The big news about this year's BofA is that Jessica Simpson is going to be performing pre-race. And if I have anything to do with it, she'll be performing at our tailgate post-race...

I'm predicting another 48 win, but 88 and 20 are looking really strong right now too. And Charlotte is home for Junior, so it should give him an extra jolt of confidence coming in.

If y'all are lucky, I'll give a full report post-race. Jessica will help.