Caption Contest

So this is a picture of a friend of mine who recently took up climbing. Couldn't help but notice some of the unique holds on this particular wall.

Let the caption contest begin!

Entry #1: That nude male statue cannot be to scale...

Voting can be fun

Let me preface this little nugget with one thought: What you are about to read is absolutely 100% true.

So I went to cast my vote for the next President, Vice President, Governor, Head of the Department of Labor (Go Cherie Berry-love your name!), and every other political office on my bubble sheet. I was dreading the waiting in line, which is the main reason I had put it off as long as I had. But I was pleasantly surprised when a nice man hollered at me for being in the wrong line. Funny, I didn't know there were two lines because one was outside, and one was all the way inside. I was supposed to be in the invisible line. Obviously.

The second line was much shorter. It was for us lazy citizens who needed to register in our current county of residence. I was fine with that. There were chairs, and wonderfully pleasant volunteers to chat with. When it came my turn to re-register, a nice older lady was assigned to help. Her name was Jo. She was probably pretty attractive 40 years ago, and if the timing had been a little different, something tells me we could have had a real shot at love. At least given it a go...tangent. Sorry. So as I'm sitting there making small talk with Jo, another volunteer settles in at her post to begin registering other lazy miscreants. The next dude in line saddles up across from the new lady, and begins making small talk. She appears confused, full of McDonald's and generally uncomfortable. Just as Jo is about to lend a hand, the new girl says to dude "Now, you'll have to be patient with me. This is the first time I've done this in a really long time. I'm a little rusty."

Now, I am sitting next to dude, and I just can't not do it. I held it in for as long as I could, but it was no use. I blurted "That's what she said..."

The entire second line heard it, and everyone started giggling. Then laughing. Then knee-slapping and high-fiving. Regardless of party affiliation, color, creed, age. It was an uproar. A good 3 minutes of solid entertainment. I loved it. I felt like I made a positive contribution to every second-line member's Saturday. [Pat on the back]

If you don't believe me, ask Erin Phillips. We went to elementary school together. Dude was her boyfriend. Hadn't seen her in 20 years. She enjoyed the moment as well. Thank you Steve Carell for making "That's what she said" aka TWSS aka TWSS HHHHHHH funny again.

Thoughts on October

It's over. My birth month. It's been a good month. Lots of things to celebrate. The overwhelming success of my fantasy football team (6-2; 2nd out of 16 teams), the football games (tailgates were more fun), the big birthday party, and the deepening of friendships that matter. Since my post about removing myself from the fast-paced social scene, I've noticed this change in my approach to life has really taken hold. I'm calmer, more content, and generally more fun to be around. I've realized I can't control what people think or have to say about me. I've recognized that the true friendships and family relationships I have are more important than anything else in the world. I've talked to my mom, dad, sister and brother more this month than any other month I can remember. Which is nice.

I'm now thinking about things on a whole new level. New ways to express myself, new ideas to think about, better ways of doing things. I want to continue to learn from the past and improve myself from those lessons. I'm taking back control of my life, and it feels gooooooood. Sorry for the introspection, just felt it...

Last Sunday morning was forgettable

woke up sunday morning.
remembered i left my car at the bar
so i decided to take the mongoose
[its a 10 year old bmx bike living in the garage]
the bar was 3-4 miles away
i stretched a little, brushed my teeth, and headed out
the front tire blew on the first downhill
so in my mind, i decided to run.
body didn't get the memo
had no breakfast, still a bit drunk
it was just cold enough to burn your ears
and i couldn't breath
with an e
about a mile in, i took a break.
vomit ensued. laced with toothpaste, tasting of haiglebombs and hell's bells brew
but i wasnt turning around
i was running down wade avenue with the taste of vomit fresh on my lips
saw at least 5 people i knew drive by
but pretended i was running for exercise so they wouldn't stop
just waved them on by. they knew what was happening, i could tell in their eyes
it took me 45 minutes to ride/walk 3.5 miles
that's not a good pace. lance would not approve
i was a bit worn out to say the least
oh the bike
had to pick it back up on the way from the bushes i stashed it in
barely fit in my backseat
the end

October is a big month

Sheesh. October is full already. Too many things to do, too little time. Work is picking up (yet I still find time to blog...priorities right?), the social calendar is busting at the seams, and I can't remember half the extra-curricular sports I've signed up for.

My birthday is Friday the 24th, and its going to be nuts. Big party at the house, tons of people, booze, band, etc. Be there or be square.

The weekend prior, I'll be traveling to Columbia, SC and Charlotte, NC for two football games (USC/LSU and Panthers/Saints). Pretty excited about that. So excited that I'm calling in drunk on Monday the 20th. [sorry boss if you're reading]...And this coming weekend, I'm heading to Charlotte for the Bank of America 500, the 5th race of the Chase. It was a blast last year, from what I remember anyway, and this year promises to be even better. At least I've got my scanner working again. That shit broke pre-race last year, leaving me no alternative but to drink my face off during the race.

The big news about this year's BofA is that Jessica Simpson is going to be performing pre-race. And if I have anything to do with it, she'll be performing at our tailgate post-race...

I'm predicting another 48 win, but 88 and 20 are looking really strong right now too. And Charlotte is home for Junior, so it should give him an extra jolt of confidence coming in.

If y'all are lucky, I'll give a full report post-race. Jessica will help.

Sex on Fire as a ringtone

Is that ok with everybody? It's my new favorite song by Kings of Leon, and I think it's just fine as a ringtone. However, people in my office heard it today and thought it was crude. Eff that. So maybe it's not appropriate for the office environment, but otherwise, I'm keeping it. Check it out if you want.

So how's everyone doing? It's been a while. I seem to remember saying something about taking it easy and focusing on spending more time with the stella artois friends in my life. Well, let's just say I'm trying. It's hard though, to avoid the routine of the social scene. Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday are automatics, and every once in a while I'll be dangerous and mix in a Monday and/or Thursday. So as you might guess, cutting back has been difficult. And my miller lite friends are not being supportive. However, continuing to go out has its rewards. I've now introduced the Haiglebomb to dozens more lucky Raleigh-ites, and last week, even to some San Diego-ans. Check out the size of this sushi roll I had in San Diego! It was about 2.5" in diameter. And it was en fuego. No way can you eat this thing without losing half of it in your soy sauce or lap. And its not bad enough that the damn thing is so huge, but there has to be this table full of young ladies sitting within three feet of me just laughing their pretty little asses off. I had several comebacks at the ready, but I decided to swallow, not spit.

Coming of age

People say I'm the life of the party cuz I tell a joke or two. And they're usually right. But recently, I've changed my stance on being the life of the party. Maybe its my age, maybe its what I've been going through, or maybe its just a phase. But something in this guy is a changin'.

Like most (I hope), it is always positive reinforcement to know that "hey, people like me" - but until recently, I think I was more focused on quantity rather than quality. You know, you have your miller lite friends, the dozens of folks you know on a full-name basis (thanks facebook) and enjoy seeing at bars and out on the town. And then you have your stella artois friends, the ones you really like to spend a lot of time with. The ones you take your time getting to know, and the ones you know will always be there for you when you need them.

So I think I'm going to take a little break from going out, from facebooking, from blogging, from meeting new people just for the hell of it. A new approach is needed and warranted. I'm going to focus on getting to know my good friends better. Who knows if its the right move? I guess some of you will find out, others won't! Until later, adieu.